OF
SITE
Taking Time
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my
sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package.
"This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie."
He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was
exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of
lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it
was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time
we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She
never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion.
Well, I guess this is the occasion."
He took the slip from me and put it on the
bed with
the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His
hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then
he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever
save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're
alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and
the days that followed when I helped him and my niece
attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected
death. I thought about them on the plane returning to
California from the Midwestern town where my sister's
family lives. I thought about all the things that she
hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the
things that she had done without realizing that they
were special. I'm still thinking about his words,
and they've changed my life.
I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on
the deck and admiring the view without fussing about
the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with
my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience
to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these
moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china
and
crystal for every special event-such as losing a pound,
getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it.
My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49
for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not
saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in
hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that
function as well as my party-going friends'.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their
grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing
or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what my sister would have done had
she
known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we
all take for granted. I think she would have called
family members and a few close friends. She might have
called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences
for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone
out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing
I'll never know. It's those little things left undone
that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were
limited. Angry because I put off seeing good Friends
whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry
because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended
to write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't
tell my husband and daughters often enough how much I
truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off,
hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and
luster to our lives.
And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself
that it is special Every day, every minute, every breath
truly is...a gift from God.
CONTENTSOF
SITE